{"title":"Congrats \u0026 Milestone Cards","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMilestone cards exist for the moments that deserve recognition even when nobody has scheduled a proper party — graduations, retirements, new babies, weddings, and the general category of \"well done.\" This collection is letterpress-printed with foil-stamped fronts and blank interiors, covering high school and college graduation, the specific chaos of a new baby, the long-awaited freedom of retirement, and wedding wishes that would rather earn a laugh than a tear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eEach design treats the milestone honestly rather than ceremonially — the graduate is about to discover student debt and laundry in the same year, the retiree has earned the right to a decades-of-meetings joke, and the new parents are not sleeping regardless of what the card says. The front handles the congratulations. The blank inside handles the cheque, the advice, or the sentence that only the sender could write.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"fuck-greeting-card","title":"Fuck - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere are moments that require this word and this word only — moments where every other word is inadequate and this one arrives like it was made for the occasion, which it was, which is why it has been in continuous use since roughly 1503 and shows no signs of retirement. It is surprise, frustration, admiration, despair, and emphasis, sometimes all in the same afternoon. A card carrying one word that happens to be this word is not crude; it is precise — the most precise thing you can hand someone when everything is too much to address in sentences. Letterpress fuck. We stand by it. So does 1503.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702294343870,"sku":"GC0001","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/1598c191-2c16-4e0e-bbca-c9485fe3a5c4-407834.jpg?v=1792180168"},{"product_id":"confidant-greeting-card","title":"Confidant - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the person who knows the thing from 2009 and the thing from last March and has never once used either against you. That is not a friend. That is a miracle. You told them something at eleven-thirty on a Wednesday that should have gone to the grave unspoken, and they took it and filed it somewhere permanent and it has never resurfaced — not once, not even when you deserved it, which you did, which they knew, which they graciously ignored. You have been testing this person for years without meaning to and they keep passing. The word for them is confidant. The occasion for this card is remembering they exist.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702294376638,"sku":"GC0002","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/06feb876-c300-4ccc-9d44-4e32cb5dc171-293367.jpg?v=1792180143"},{"product_id":"bombshell-greeting-card","title":"Bombshell - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe bombshell arrived this way by decision, not accident — a distinction the bombshell has never felt the need to explain and does not intend to start explaining now. Because the bombshell is not a look. The bombshell is a frequency: the specific energy of someone who walked into a room and the room adjusted, not because they demanded it but because they simply were, completely and without apology, exactly what they were, and the room was better for it. You know this person. The room knows this person. This card puts in writing what everyone present was already thinking and is deeply relieved someone finally committed to foil.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702294474942,"sku":"GC0003","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/61df9a0f-2f89-4d3b-b844-85605b1739c1-480270.jpg?v=1792180148"},{"product_id":"lit-greeting-card","title":"Lit - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people arrive and the energy shifts. The conversation improves. The music gets louder. The night runs longer than anyone planned and nobody minds. That is the lit person — and note that lit has nothing to do with volume. The lit person is rarely the loudest one there. They are the person whose presence makes the room decide to be the kind of room where things happen: another bottle opens, the playlist finds its footing, the story gets told that the group will reference for years. They do not manufacture any of this. They simply show up, and the night takes over from there. You know exactly who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702315806910,"sku":"GC0004","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/8b4752bd-1e75-4e87-bafa-57d7b36a0187-829524.jpg?v=1792180173"},{"product_id":"youre-gonna-make-it-after-all-greeting-card","title":"You're gonna make it after all - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere were stretches when this outcome was not obvious — months when making it felt theoretical and the evidence pointed in several directions at once, none of them encouraging. And then, gradually, without a ceremony, the evidence changed. You held on through the unclear part, which is the only part that counts, and now you are standing in the middle of a life that actually worked out. In 1970 a woman on a Minneapolis street corner threw her hat in the air over exactly this feeling, and the gesture has never been improved upon. Consider this card the hat: thrown high, on your behalf, in broad daylight. You made it. Celebrate accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702315872446,"sku":"GC0005","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/a568da21-a388-4ad2-b255-6d65728ca4db-894679.jpg?v=1792180212"},{"product_id":"baby-cakes-greeting-card","title":"Baby Cakes - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eBaby cakes is a term of endearment with no business being as effective as it is — which is to say, extremely. It's what you call the person who is soft and sweet and absolutely yours, and who receives the name with that specific mix of embarrassment and pleasure that proves they've been called it many times and never once stopped secretly loving it. The baby cakes in your life knows exactly who they are; they knew the moment they started reading this. Some phrases are too good to only say out loud — this one deserves foil stamping. Send the card, watch the face happen. That face is the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316691646,"sku":"GC0006","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/445a9187-fe2a-436e-94f6-b39ea3cfe998-292349.jpg?v=1792180138"},{"product_id":"love-birds-greeting-card","title":"Love Birds - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey have a thing. You have watched them have a thing for long enough to confirm it is real, not situational, and not going anywhere — and they should probably know the rest of us can see it. The love birds are the couple that makes other people believe in couples: not by being perfect, but by being so obviously right for each other that the imperfections read as evidence. The shorthand. The finished sentences. The look exchanged when someone says the thing only they find funny. Most people spend years searching for exactly that and come home empty. These two found it, kept it, and made it look easy. Say so.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316724414,"sku":"GC0007","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/9c4c86d4-04a9-4d20-a122-b1647945af41-355487.jpg?v=1792180169"},{"product_id":"smitten-greeting-card","title":"Smitten - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSmitten is not a small word. It's the state that precedes everything else — the beginning of something that doesn't yet know what it will become, which is either the most exciting thing in the world or the most terrifying, usually both at once. The smitten person is not in love yet. They're in the stage before, where nothing has been decided and everything is possible, checking their phone and smiling at it like it told a joke. This card belongs to the person standing at the top of that particular hill. No labels, no serious conversations, no definitions — just the early part, documented in foil before it becomes whatever it becomes.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316757182,"sku":"GC0008","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/f98955d9-88c1-4720-9d60-d6129752d4b9-881173.jpg?v=1792180213"},{"product_id":"eye-candy-greeting-card","title":"Eye Candy - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomebody has to say it and this card volunteered. You are exceptionally easy to look at, and this is not nothing — this is a service. The eye candy in a room is doing something for the energy of that room that nobody else there can do, and that is not their fault; it is simply the distribution of gifts. The person who received this particular gift has been providing the service without recognition for years, improving commutes, meetings, and at least one funeral. Consider this card the overdue paperwork. The noticing is entirely positive, entirely warranted, and now, finally, entirely on the record in gold or silver.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316789950,"sku":"GC0009","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/ffa9de6d-9d55-48c9-ab11-a970505cd28b-470166.jpg?v=1792180149"},{"product_id":"bestie-greeting-card","title":"Bestie - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot everyone gets a bestie. Some people go their whole lives with friends and acquaintances and colleagues and nobody who is actually the bestie. You have one, and you should tell them, and this is a way of telling them. The bestie knows your coffee order, your mother's name, and the full story of the coworker you cannot stand — a story they have heard four times and will absorb a fifth time as if it were breaking news, because that is the job and they have never once complained about the hours. They show up with the right thing before you finish asking. That's the bestie. Certify it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316822718,"sku":"GC0010","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/72828967-b103-48ac-945f-7ce6f70f39d2.jpg?v=1732057831"},{"product_id":"hottie-greeting-card","title":"Hottie - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe hottie knows. The hottie has always known. What the hottie does not always know is that the people around them have been quietly, consistently confirming the assessment for years, and this card is all those years speaking at once. Because hottie contains more than it appears to — it is not just a physical verdict, it is a frequency. The hottie makes a room feel like a better version of itself. The hottie causes the involuntary second look that the looker declines to be embarrassed about, which is precisely what separates a hottie from a merely attractive person. It is a title. This card confers it formally, with foil.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316855486,"sku":"GC0011","price":3.85,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/280a2c8f-3b9e-433a-9c8b-8eaf674ba38e.jpg?v=1732057832"},{"product_id":"looker-greeting-card","title":"Looker - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere is the polite version and there is the accurate version, and the accurate version is that some people are remarkable to look at and deserve to be told. Looker is the word your grandmother would have used, which makes it either dated or timeless depending on where you stand — and exactly right either way, because what she meant is what everyone still means: this person is doing something exceptional with their face, their bearing, and their general effect on a room. The looker in your life has been a looker for years without the official documentation. This card is that documentation, pressed and foiled so it reads as permanent record.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316888254,"sku":"GC0012","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/2b57ca70-9b0d-4190-a106-86d2cd282820-531652.jpg?v=1792180174"},{"product_id":"baddie-greeting-card","title":"Baddie - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe baddie is not trying to be anything. The baddie has already arrived at being something, and the something is fully realized and completely intentional, and the rest of us are simply witnesses. Welcome to the stand. Understand that the baddie woke up like this only in the sense that waking up like this took years of specific decisions and a total absence of apology about any of them — enormous work, zero interest in approval. You cannot fake it. You can only be one, or stand in the presence of one and feel the difference immediately. This card is for the second group to give to the first. Testify accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316921022,"sku":"GC0013","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/1437bbdf-8270-47a3-8075-f1ab80a5f793-822269.jpg?v=1792180150"},{"product_id":"are-we-going-to-hell-or-not-greeting-card","title":"Are we going to hell or not? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe theology is unsettled; the friendship is not. Two people have accumulated a shared record — the jokes told at funerals, the laughter in the wrong pew, the group text that would end careers if subpoenaed — and at some point one of them raised the obvious eternal question. The honest answer requires no committee. If the standards are as advertised, both names are on the same list, in the same handwriting, probably flagged. And here is the discovery buried in the question: neither party is worried, because whatever the destination turns out to be, the seating arrangement is already settled. The itinerary matters less than the company. The company, for the record, is excellent.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316953790,"sku":"GC0014","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/0b2f836a-524d-4236-8a4a-8b0247fddcc0-105881.jpg?v=1792180138"},{"product_id":"remember-this-moment-and-ask-yourself-wtf-were-you-thinking-greeting-card","title":"Remember this moment and ask yourself WTF were you thinking - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eBig decisions ship without receipts. The wedding, the resignation, the one-way ticket, the deposit on the fixer-upper — each one gets made in a rush of certainty, and the certainty files no paperwork. This card is the paperwork. Seal it into the memory box, tape it inside a cabinet door, and let it wait. Five years from now it resurfaces, asks its question, and the answer will finally be available: either the decision built the life you are standing in, or the card gets to say it asked first. Both outcomes are worth documenting. Congratulations on the leap. The record will show you were warned, lovingly, in foil.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702316986558,"sku":"GC0015","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/0616a8db-76c1-480f-85ed-7923110b102c-407144.jpg?v=1792180215"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-lovable-asshole-greeting-card","title":"Happy birthday, you lovable asshole - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAffection and insult have always shared a border, and nowhere is that clearer than in a friendship old enough to call someone an asshole directly on their birthday card. This one earns the title honestly — the recipient has presumably spent the better part of a decade being difficult in ways that are somehow still endearing, and the card simply states the arrangement out loud instead of pretending otherwise. No vague compliments, no generic warmth. Just the specific, hard-won truth that some people are only lovable because of the asshole part, not despite it. Letterpressed in gold or silver, for the friend who'd be suspicious of anything nicer.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317019326,"sku":"GC0016","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/65d252d7-d8b1-4efc-95e0-58e7797f1184-624273.jpg?v=1792180175"},{"product_id":"wtf-were-you-thinking-greeting-card","title":"WTF were you thinking? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe question on the front is sincere. It is not rhetorical, not cruel, and not new — it has been forming for weeks, possibly months, in the mind of a person who watched the whole thing develop and elected, heroically, to say nothing while it was still preventable. That window has closed. What remains is love, disbelief, and this card, which delivers all three at once. No explanation is being demanded. The explanation would not survive contact with daylight anyway, and everyone knows it. What is being offered is simpler: a friend who saw everything, judged some of it, and is still here, holding the question and, more importantly, your coat.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317052094,"sku":"GC0017","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/a7824d66-7da9-4e2a-99f6-d8d466f279f3-495817.jpg?v=1792180216"},{"product_id":"shindig-greeting-card","title":"Shindig - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA shindig is a gathering that upgraded itself mid-gathering. It arrived as one thing and became another, and nobody can say exactly when the transition happened, but at some point everyone looked around and understood, and behaved accordingly. What separates a shindig from a party is the element of surprise: a party is planned to be a party, while a shindig simply happens, usually after the second bottle and well before anyone considers leaving. Most gatherings become what they were planned to be and end at a reasonable hour. Yours didn't. This card is from the people who were there, still slightly amazed, and grateful.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317084862,"sku":"GC0018","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/41686f29-7331-4a84-aaa0-808a75abb28b-801116.jpg?v=1792180220"},{"product_id":"you-re-only-as-old-as-the-botox-you-can-feel-greeting-card","title":"You’re only as old as the Botox you can feel. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe old saying promised that age was just a number, a feeling, a state of mind — and then cosmetic dermatology got involved and revised the terms considerably. This card updates the platitude for current conditions, swapping vague optimism for a more specific and considerably funnier metric. It's not cruel exactly, more observational, delivered with the confidence of someone who's clearly done the research themselves. For the friend who has opinions about their own forehead, appreciates a joke with a needle in it, and would rather laugh at the procedure than pretend nobody in the group chat has had one.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317117630,"sku":"GC0019","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/4ae334d8-0654-463b-867c-184b5db1a542-715262.jpg?v=1792180216"},{"product_id":"whatever-happened-to-my-aol-account-greeting-card","title":"Whatever happened to my AOL account? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere in the early 2000s an email address containing your name and a hopeful number went quiet, and nobody held a service. The screen name — chosen at an age when screen names felt like a genuine expression of identity — is still out there, presumably, along with forty-seven unread chain letters and an away message you intended to be mysterious. You can still hear the modem if you try. You just tried. That sound, that patience, that entire era lives in you permanently, which is the affectionate way of announcing what this card actually announces: you are old now, officially, and you have the defunct login credentials to prove it. Happy birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317150398,"sku":"GC0020","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/a6742bcb-dd7a-433e-b383-11ace820fb23-927415.jpg?v=1792180221"},{"product_id":"chin-up-tits-out-greeting-card","title":"Chin up, tits out. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome situations call for a strategy, and some call only for posture. This card covers the second kind. The instruction is anatomical because the body moves faster than the mind: lift the chin and the eyes stop studying the floor; square up and the room gets met head-on instead of apologized to. Confidence follows the frame it was handed. Whatever is waiting — the meeting, the verdict of a haircut, the Monday — goes differently when you walk in first. No occasion is printed on this card because courage is not seasonal. Send it before the hard thing, after the bad week, or on a random Tuesday. Chin up. Tits out. Proceed.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317314238,"sku":"GC0021","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/5f1a8bda-b3b2-4a0b-9839-c143ee3062bc-534852.jpg?v=1792180153"},{"product_id":"these-pretzels-are-making-me-thirsty-greeting-card","title":"These pretzels are making me thirsty - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eCertain lines outlive their episodes. This one aired decades ago on a sitcom famously about nothing, lasted eleven seconds, and has been quoted at parties, in kitchens, and across crowded restaurants ever since — always by someone testing the room. That is the real function: a password. Say it near the right person and they answer instantly, because the two of you watched the same reruns, absorbed the same rhythms, and built a friendship partly out of borrowed dialogue. Say it near the wrong person and enjoy the silence. This card performs the same test by mail. If the recipient laughs before opening it, the password worked. It always works on the right one.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317347006,"sku":"GC0022","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/d3923ef8-8b18-4a17-97d1-85829158460e-335401.jpg?v=1792180222"},{"product_id":"see-you-in-18-years-greeting-card","title":"See you in 18 years. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe baby has arrived and the social calendar has not. Dinner reservations, spontaneous weekends, and the ability to leave a building in under forty minutes have all entered an extended hiatus effective immediately. The duration is approximate. The affection is not — the people sending this card are not going anywhere, they are simply acknowledging that you are, for the foreseeable future, going nowhere, and that this is wonderful and correct and they will hold the table. Eighteen years is a generous estimate; some parents report early parole around sixteen, weather permitting. Until then: we love you, we support you, and we will see you when the babysitter clears it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317379774,"sku":"GC0023","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/6acbc038-04d2-4e12-9493-1f54c31d459b-540500.jpg?v=1792180226"},{"product_id":"you-re-now-at-the-age-where-coke-is-something-you-drink-greeting-card","title":"You’re now at the age where coke is something you drink - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere's a specific, quiet transition every generation reaches, somewhere past thirty, when a word that once meant one thing at parties settles permanently into meaning a beverage instead. This card marks that exact pivot with the bluntness it deserves, letting the recipient know their reputation has officially, mercifully, calmed down. It's a compliment shaped like an insult, or possibly the reverse — either way, it lands. For the friend whose wildest stories now happen at brunch, whose caffeine intake has quietly replaced whatever came before it, and who has, by any reasonable measure, made it to the other side intact.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317412542,"sku":"GC0024","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/0ef010ee-96ae-4410-87ad-297c57463868-683488.jpg?v=1792180222"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-the-vasectomy-years-greeting-card","title":"Welcome to the Vasectomy years - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA decision has been made, a Thursday appointment has been kept, and a bag of frozen peas is doing the heavy lifting this weekend. What happened was minor surgery; what it means is a mutual agreement, arrived at over years of accumulated evidence, that the roster is complete. No more additions, no more negotiations, no more late-night arithmetic about bedrooms and car seats. The household has reached its final headcount and filed the paperwork accordingly. This card ushers you into the era that follows: calmer, resolved, and medically cleared for activities that no longer carry administrative consequences. Welcome. The peas are temporary. The decision is permanent and correct.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317445310,"sku":"GC0025","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/be35732c-7be1-47ae-8809-9ffeab26adfc-424850.jpg?v=1792180227"},{"product_id":"bff-greeting-card","title":"BFF - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eBest friend forever is a contract most people sign in middle school and mean completely at the time, and then the forever part gets complicated. And then some forevers actually hold. This card belongs to the forever that held — the one that survived the fight in year three, the distance in year seven, and the stretch where you were both so busy that months passed in silence and somehow nothing changed. That is the only test that matters: whether the thing lives on its own momentum through the years when it gets no attention. Yours did. Theirs did. Put it in foil and make it official.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317478078,"sku":"GC0026","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/ca544513-1e05-492e-bb80-774f2183c4a7-736238.jpg?v=1792180154"},{"product_id":"why-does-the-music-not-stop-when-i-turn-off-the-car-greeting-card","title":"Why does the music not stop when I turn off the car? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere was an era when the car and the music were one organism: the engine stopped, the song stopped, the world went quiet, and everyone understood the arrangement. That arrangement has ended. Now the song follows you out of the car, across the parking lot, into the elevator, still playing from a pocket, and some part of you stands there wondering who authorized this. Nobody authorized this. Noticing it — genuinely wondering about it, possibly out loud — is among the more reliable signs that a birthday of consequence has arrived. This card confirms the diagnosis with affection. You are not confused; the situation is confusing. Many happy returns anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317510846,"sku":"GC0027","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/60122db2-762b-461e-b85c-a7f203bc1d71-383210.jpg?v=1792180227"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-from-our-parent-s-favorite-child-greeting-card","title":"Happy Birthday from our parent’s favorite child - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is not a competition, mostly because competitions have uncertain outcomes and this one was settled decades ago — quietly, over a series of report cards, curfews, and Thanksgiving seating arrangements that everyone noticed and nobody discussed. The results stand. The favourite is not here to gloat. The favourite is here to be generous, which is easy when you are winning, and to wish an unranked, unconditional happy birthday to the runner-up. Consider this card the annual ceasefire: one day when the standings are suspended, the parental scoreboard goes dark, and the only official ruling is that you were worth the postage. Enjoy the day fully. The rankings resume tomorrow.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317543614,"sku":"GC0028","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/f8fdea24-a859-4dc7-9cb0-3cc4246262fb-113107.jpg?v=1792180178"},{"product_id":"bollocks-greeting-card","title":"Bollocks - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eBollocks. Just bollocks. You know what it means, they know what it means, and the situation that prompted it knows what it means. One word covers a remarkable amount of ground: disbelief, dismissal, the response to something that has no better response — the word that arrives when events have moved beyond polite language and something sharper and more British is required. We put it on a letterpress card because sometimes one word is enough, and this word is more than enough. Send it to whoever is currently in a bollocks situation, or whoever caused one. Either way, they will appreciate the precision, and possibly frame it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317609150,"sku":"GC0029","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/925a7974-9c21-4e89-ad88-dfdde4edfc66-870150.jpg?v=1792180155"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-the-real-world-it-sucks-youre-going-to-love-it-greeting-card","title":"Welcome to the real world, it sucks, you're going to love it. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eCongratulations — the diploma is real, the ceremony is over, and the real world is now accepting your application whether or not you finished filling it out. Here is what the commencement speech skipped: the real world is more expensive than advertised, more administrative than seems necessary, and nobody in it will ever again tell you what to do next, which is the terrifying part and also the entire point. The sucking is specific: taxes, rent, a printer that requires your involvement. The loving is larger: actual friendships, actual decisions, an actual version of you that could not have existed anywhere else. Welcome in. It is terrible here. You are going to thrive.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317641918,"sku":"GC0030","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/7b2333f7-e042-419c-be86-0a9b895ec460-382345.jpg?v=1792180232"},{"product_id":"gobsmacked-greeting-card","title":"Gobsmacked - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomething was said, or arrived, or happened, and the reaction was gobsmacked — the specific state of being so thoroughly surprised that the mouth opens and nothing comes out. It's a British word for the gob, meaning mouth, being smacked, meaning rendered temporarily inoperative by the sheer scale of what just occurred. There is no American equivalent, because Americans hurry through astonishment; the British stand in it a while, which is the correct amount of respect for a truly astonishing thing. If you caused that look on someone's face — the open mouth, the silence, the blinking — this card commemorates it. Well done. Genuinely.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317674686,"sku":"GC0031","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/49d56a57-8712-4252-bb08-23e85f2596c1-901930.jpg?v=1792180175"},{"product_id":"congrats-who-s-the-daddy-greeting-card","title":"Congrats, who’s the Daddy? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA baby is arriving, which means congratulations are mandatory, genuine, and accompanied by exactly one follow-up question that everyone in the room has thought and nobody in the room has voiced. This card voices it. The question is affectionate — asked from the inside of a celebration, not the outside of a judgment — and the answer is either obvious, complicated, or none of your business, all of which are valid conclusions that the card is perfectly comfortable leaving unresolved. What matters is the baby, the joy, and the fact that somebody loved the parents enough to say the quiet part in foil. Congratulations on all fronts.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317707454,"sku":"GC0032","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/de1043e4-1469-4c23-aad8-65af094c1eca-144020.jpg?v=1792180156"},{"product_id":"it-s-your-special-day-you-and-only-22-143-800-others-greeting-card","title":"It’s your special day (you and only 22,143,800 others) - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA birthday feels singular right up until someone does the math on how many people share it, at which point the occasion becomes statistically less special and considerably funnier. This card does that math out loud, undercutting the usual sentiment with a real number pulled from real population data, because nothing humbles a celebration like a parenthetical. It still means it, in its own deflating way — the day is still theirs, it's just also shared with roughly twenty-two million strangers having an equally average Tuesday. For the friend who appreciates a compliment that comes with a footnote, and a joke that shows its work.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317772990,"sku":"GC0033","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/d081e85c-8aac-41be-91f5-47f7d3d682c6-936626.jpg?v=1792180179"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-parenting-greeting-card","title":"Welcome to parenting? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe question mark is load-bearing and it was placed there with complete respect for the situation. Nobody fully understands what just happened. A baby arrived — that part is confirmed — and two adults who were recently responsible only for themselves are now responsible for a person who communicates exclusively through volume and has no interest in schedules. The preparation was thorough and none of it was adequate, which is not a failure of preparation but a feature of the event. Everything from here is improvised, magnificent, exhausting, and correct. This card welcomes you to the improvisation with the only honest punctuation available. Congratulations, probably. Welcome, definitely. Sleep, eventually.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317805758,"sku":"GC0034","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/6938a3f7-0456-4c96-8b16-447c7a03aa11-769976.jpg?v=1792180228"},{"product_id":"happy-divorce-greeting-card","title":"Happy Divorce! - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eHappy and divorce share a card today because the alternative — pretending the end of something wrong is sad for everyone involved — is a lie the greeting card industry has been telling for decades, and this card formally objects. The divorce was necessary. The marriage ran its experiment, gathered its data, and arrived at a conclusion both parties can now cite freely. What follows is not wreckage; it is a cleared site with a better foundation than the one it replaced. This card is the ribbon-cutting. The building is yours now — the whole thing, no shared walls, full occupancy. Congratulations on the demolition. The architecture from here looks promising.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317838526,"sku":"GC0035","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/53e32a68-e27a-4e55-92af-e094c1e60a21-120580.jpg?v=1792180181"},{"product_id":"were-goin-streaking-greeting-card","title":"We're goin' streaking! - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn announcement, technically a plan, arguably a warning. The evening has been proceeding responsibly — dinner, conversation, moderate laughter — and someone has just decided that responsible has run its course. What happens next requires no equipment, minimal clothing, and total commitment, and the commitment is the entire point. Nobody remembers a night that ended on schedule. Everybody remembers the sprint across the quad, the parking lot, the beach at an hour when the beach was closed. The card salutes the friend who makes those nights happen: the one who stands up, makes the announcement, and trusts the right people to follow. They always follow. Bring shoes. Shoes stay on. Everything else is negotiable.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317871294,"sku":"GC0036","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/fcf4f2b4-df5c-413e-8953-a0215000b67c-883135.jpg?v=1792180234"},{"product_id":"thanks-for-being-fucking-fabulous-greeting-card","title":"Thanks for being fucking fabulous - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eGratitude usually arrives under-dressed — a mumbled thanks, a thumbs-up, an emoji doing the work of a paragraph. This occasion demanded formalwear. The person receiving this card has been operating at a level that plain adjectives stopped covering some time ago: showing up, glittering, holding rooms together, being reliably and extravagantly themselves while everyone else managed ordinary. Regular fabulous would undersell it. The intensifier on the front was added the way a jeweller adds a setting — because the stone earned it. Consider this formal, foil-stamped acknowledgment that the effort has been seen, the sparkle has been logged, and the management is deeply, permanently grateful. Carry on exactly as you were.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317936830,"sku":"GC0038","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/31faac93-0189-421c-b7fb-d4c100f348dc-275027.jpg?v=1792180232"},{"product_id":"bougie-greeting-card","title":"Bougie - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe bougie person has standards, the standards are high, and they are paying the cost without complaint, because the alternative is not what they want and what they want is what they want. Understand: bougie is not an insult. Bougie is an orientation — the complete, unembarrassed preference for the better version of the thing. The good thread count. The specific coffee. The hotel upgrade requested not as an afterthought but as the opening move. They arrived at these standards through research, experience, and a long apprenticeship in knowing exactly what they like, and what they like is the best available option. This card, letterpressed and foiled, meets the standard.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702317969598,"sku":"GC0039","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/56b5f6f1-2b9c-47c8-8df8-4711c598277d-215898.jpg?v=1792180158"},{"product_id":"its-all-karma-greeting-card","title":"It's all karma - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe ledger has been running the whole time. Quietly, without statements or notifications, every favour, slight, kindness, and parking manoeuvre has been recorded somewhere in the operational machinery of the universe — and today a balance posted. Maybe it posted in your favour: the job, the windfall, the parking spot opening up like a miracle. Maybe it posted the other way, in which case the card offers no comfort, only accounting. Either outcome makes sense to anyone who reviews the file. Things circle back. Behaviour compounds. Whatever just happened did not come out of nowhere; it came out of somewhere very specific, and everyone present can name it. The books, at last, are balanced.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318002366,"sku":"GC0040","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/dfc1b77b-e0ab-4835-a85a-10dc3156ea34.jpg?v=1732057893"},{"product_id":"thank-god-that-s-over-greeting-card","title":"Thank God, that’s over. - Greeting Card, Mauve","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt ended. The degree, the renovation, the treatment, the project that metastasized, the year that behaved like a decade — whichever ordeal applies, it has officially stopped happening, and the sensation deserves its own vocabulary. Not happiness, exactly. Relief: the full-body exhale of setting down something heavy that was carried much farther than advertised. The shoulders drop. The calendar opens. The view improves immediately. This card marks the exhale in letterpress, because endings this hard-won should be commemorated with the same weight they demanded. Congratulations are technically in order, but honesty comes first, and honesty says what the front says. What comes next will be lighter. It has to be.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318035134,"sku":"GC0041","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/2f7363c1-ad83-4517-a2f7-8970bd268108-293434.jpg?v=1792180234"},{"product_id":"yep-it-s-your-birthday-no-you-can-t-borrow-my-clothes-greeting-card","title":"Yep, it’s your birthday. No, you can’t borrow my clothes. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery long friendship eventually produces its own specific set of house rules, and somewhere near the top of that list, for certain friendships, sits an ironclad policy on clothing loans that even a birthday cannot override. This card acknowledges the occasion and immediately, cheerfully, refuses the one request that always seems to follow it. The joke works because it's specific — this isn't a general refusal, it's a very particular boundary, defended annually, with love. For the friend who has asked before, will ask again, and deserves a card that celebrates them while still, firmly, protecting the closet.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318067902,"sku":"GC0042","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/92fc3cb6-a503-4861-a00a-04b4dde90874-520661.jpg?v=1792180238"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-ditching-that-dead-weight-greeting-card","title":"Congrats on ditching that dead weight! - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomething heavy has been set down — a relationship, a job, a situation that had been draining the battery for longer than anyone wanted to say out loud — and the posture has already changed. Lighter. Taller. Visibly relieved in the specific way of someone who forgot what standing upright felt like until the weight came off. This card is not interested in the autopsy. This card is interested in the view from here, which is better, and the person standing in it, which is you, and the fact that you finally did the thing the people who love you have been quietly hoping you would do. The congratulations are enormous and completely earned.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318100670,"sku":"GC0043","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/9b2ebdb8-482e-469b-9674-1c9cea7792d7-559118.jpg?v=1792180160"},{"product_id":"yes-it-is-all-about-you-greeting-card","title":"Yes, it is all about you. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere in adulthood, birthdays start requiring a disclaimer, usually delivered by the birthday person themselves, insisting they don't want the day to be a big deal, don't want the attention, would rather everyone just relax about it. This card exists to override that disclaimer entirely, agreeing enthusiastically with the one thing nobody was actually arguing about. Yes. It is all about them. That was always the arrangement, no matter how many times they insist otherwise in the group chat beforehand. Letterpressed and foiled for the friend who protests the spotlight while visibly enjoying every second spent standing in it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318166206,"sku":"GC0044","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/9303dd6c-8c20-4efa-b3f6-8c227d25d218-793099.jpg?v=1792180238"},{"product_id":"who-would-you-rather-trust-a-politician-or-a-vampire-greeting-card","title":"Who would you rather trust, a politician or a vampire? - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eConsider the two résumés. Both candidates want something from you and intend to get it. Both are ancient professions with excellent tailoring. Both perform sincerity at a level amateurs cannot reach. The difference is disclosure: one of them looks you directly in the eye and names the exact thing it is about to take, and it is not the one holding a press conference. This card raises the question at the dinner party and then stands back, because the debate runs itself — everyone has a position, the positions are hilarious, and somehow the vampire keeps winning on transparency grounds alone. Send it to the friend who argues recreationally. The floor is theirs now.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318198974,"sku":"GC0045","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/1fe9bf13-d825-47aa-9293-1f9342ddb64b-643783.jpg?v=1792180240"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-the-slut-years-greeting-card","title":"Welcome to the slut years - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA chapter closed and a door opened and the door leads somewhere you have not been in a while, or possibly ever, and the years on the other side belong entirely to you. The slut years are not reckless; they are the season of answering only the questions you feel like answering, keeping only the hours you choose to keep, and discovering — or rediscovering — what happens when permission comes from no authority except the one standing in your mirror. The name is provocative because the freedom is provocative, and this card endorses both without hesitation. Whatever was heavy is behind you. Whatever is next is yours. Welcome to the years. They are going to be spectacular.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318231742,"sku":"GC0046","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/64ed9795-a2c3-4c7d-a487-df478750fa84-433343.jpg?v=1792180240"},{"product_id":"birthday-queen-greeting-card","title":"Birthday Queen - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people treat their birthday as a Tuesday with cake. Others treat it as a coronation, complete with a court, a theme, and zero tolerance for anyone who forgets to acknowledge the occasion by nine in the morning. This card is for the second kind of person — the one who correctly identified that a birthday is an annual opportunity for total authority and has never once apologized for using it. One word, letterpressed and foiled, doing the job several paragraphs usually attempt. No further argument required. She knows who she is. So does everyone else who's been assigned a task this week in service of the celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318264510,"sku":"GC0047","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/8e53fd3a-f9ff-47d7-a999-6138a183cd45-924420.jpg?v=1792180161"},{"product_id":"hb-you-basic-b-ch-greeting-card","title":"HB, you basic B**ch. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome friendships run on affectionate insult the way others run on flowers and adjectives, and this card is built for the former. It abbreviates the birthday wish down to its bluntest form and pairs it with a label that would be an insult from anyone else and is, from the right person, a compliment wearing a disguise. No pretense, no earnest paragraph — just the shorthand two people use when they've said the sincere version enough times that it stopped being necessary. Letterpressed, foiled, and delivered with the specific confidence of someone who knows exactly how it'll land, this one is for the friend who'd be offended by anything more polite.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318297278,"sku":"GC0048","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/7982f733-a58e-42ac-ae26-19a27cd44da5-332241.jpg?v=1792180184"},{"product_id":"your-mom-was-right-we-never-liked-him-anyway-greeting-card","title":"Your mom was right. We never liked him anyway. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eEveryone signed a nondisclosure agreement the day the relationship started, and nobody remembers agreeing to it. That is how loyalty works: your people watched, formed a unanimous opinion, and sat on it for the entire duration, because saying it early helps no one and costs everything. Then the ending arrived — the correct ending, the one the committee quietly predicted — and the gag order lifted. The findings can finally be published. The findings are on the front of the card. Your mother saw it first, the group chat concurred, and the vote was never close. Welcome back. Dinner is on us, and the subject is now open.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318330046,"sku":"GC0049","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/0704e845-4672-4b3b-8113-bd2e14823393-314842.jpg?v=1792180243"},{"product_id":"youre-probably-a-keeper-greeting-card","title":"You're probably a keeper. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eProbably is the load-bearing word, and it was chosen with care. Definitely would be flattering and worthless — certainty this early is either naivety or a sales pitch. Probably means the data has actually been examined: the tests passed, the red flags absent, the treatment of waitstaff observed and approved. It means the review is going exceptionally well and the reviewer is quietly delighted while reserving the professional right to keep reviewing. Understand this clearly: it is the highest rating currently available anywhere. The card is the preliminary paperwork; the keeping itself gets confirmed the usual way — slowly, daily, and, in all likelihood, permanently. Congratulations on the strong early results.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318362814,"sku":"GC0050","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/8bd776e7-453a-4c48-95a2-7d330dda8992-484397.jpg?v=1792180244"},{"product_id":"congrats-no-more-walks-of-shame-greeting-card","title":"Congrats! No more walks of shame. - Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe walk is over. The specific walk — the one conducted at seven in the morning in last evening's clothes, past joggers and dog walkers whose silent assessments could power a courtroom — has been retired from the routine. Whether the retirement is due to cohabitation, commitment, personal growth, or simply a street with fewer witnesses, the result is identical: the shoes now live where the shoes belong, the keys are accounted for, and the commute of dignity has been permanently cancelled. This card commemorates the closure with the respect it deserves. Congratulations on the new logistics. The sidewalk will miss you.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chive Plant Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44702318395582,"sku":"GC0051","price":3.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/files\/1a114a00-2d57-4c5d-823c-c874f16fdc18-427760.jpg?v=1792180162"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0530\/9073\/collections\/chive-cards-heres_a_plant_thought_you_could_use_some_excitement-2_27d6f961-f527-421d-a3c6-02a95c34484a_copy.jpg?v=1792087741","url":"https:\/\/chive.ca\/collections\/congrats-milestone-cards.oembed?page=5","provider":"Chive Plant Studio","version":"1.0","type":"link"}